What’s wrong with judging? The why and how of nonjudgmental stance

Many of us have heard people say things like, “try not to judge yourself so much” or “let go of your judgments.” While we may intellectually recognize that judgments may not be all that helpful, we do not always feel well-grounded in why letting go of judgments is so important, or clear about what to do instead of judging. In this episode we talk about: 1) what makes a judgment a judgment and how judgmental statements differ from nonjudgmental ones, 2) the ways in which judgments can both help and harm us, 3) research supporting the importance of working toward more of a nonjudgmental stance, 4) specific, concrete strategies for responding to judgments effectively and shifting our relationship to judging. We end with a brief mindful practice that walks us through key steps involved in working toward a nonjudgmental stance in a specific area of our lives in which we are noticing judgment.

I also have some exciting news to share: I have developed a FREE 4-part video series called “The Science & Soul of Building Resilience.” This series is meant to help you enhance key pillars of resilience that can help us all navigate inevitable life stress with more ease and skill. I chose to focus on these specific pillars of resilience because they can help us address some of the most common struggles I see in my clients – anxiety, self-doubt, lack of direction or sense of self, disconnection from larger meaning & purpose, and self-criticism. Similar to the spirit of this podcast, this series integrates science-backed strategies from psychology with tools from ancient wisdom like yoga and meditation, to present skills over the course of this series that can be used and integrated into daily life. You can find the series here (https://unique-trader-1040.ck.page/0a3a623dbd). I hope you check it out and please feel share it with others as you feel inspired.

For more information, tools, and strategies, please follow @drfoynes on Instagram.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, and is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

Additional resources

1. Shallcross, A. J., Troy, A. S., Boland, M., & Mauss, I. B. (2010). Let it be: Accepting negative emotional experiences predicts decreased negative affect and depressive symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(9), 921-929.
2. Geurtzen, N., Scholte, R. H., Engels, R. C., Tak, Y. R., & van Zundert, R. M. (2015). Association between mindful parenting and adolescents’ internalizing problems: non-judgmental acceptance of parenting as core element. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 24(4), 1117-1128.
3. Pepping, C. A., O’Donovan, A., & Davis, P. J. (2013). The positive effects of mindfulness on self-esteem. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8(5), 376-386.