While Pain Is a
Necessary Part of Life,
Suffering Is Not.
I'll partner with you to help you go from feeling overwhelmed and dictated by worry, doubt, and self-criticism to fully living life with meaning, purpose, and alignment with your true values even in the hardest and most stressful of times.
apply to Join the Program
Learn to navigate the complexity of your life
Invest in science-backed holistic tools to improve your health
Discover how to live with more meaning and purpose
The All Too Common Story of the Modern Woman
How we end up creating our own suffering
The way that we respond to and make meaning of our pain can turn that inevitable life pain into suffering. Judgment, worry, rumination, disconnection and downplaying our innermost dreams, needs, desires, and values are a few of the ways we can create layers upon layers of unnecessary and avoidable suffering.
But this isn’t to say that when we suffer, it is entirely our fault. Part of our lived day-to-day reality involves navigating immense pain, loss, and/or trauma, both individually and collectively. For example, we regularly encounter structures, systems, and policies that perpetuate the harms of inequity, violence & discrimination. As women, we are often conditioned to place others’ needs before our own, shrink back and dim our light so that others feel more comfortable, and blame ourselves for other people’s harmful actions and mistakes. We are barraged by messages of being too much or not enough, and even though we may mold ourselves into society’s definitions of worth, success, attractiveness, and spiritual enlightenment, deep down a part of us often knows that we are not in alignment, that we are meant to live life differently than we are.
We may look “put together” on the outside, but inside we feel like failures and imposters. We strive for perfectionism and status to feel worthy. We exist on autopilot. We are harsh with ourselves for our mistakes. We tolerate relationships that don’t bring out the best in us. We aren’t kind to our bodies. We feel guilty that we can’t find happiness in our lives because “other people have it worse.” We worry that we don't belong and aren't doing enough to change the world. We get disconnected from who we really are and what we really want, and are left feeling stuck, lost, empty, and alone.
How we end up
creating our own suffering
Take Back Your Power
& Give Yourself
Permission to Live Fully
Give Yourself Permission to Live Fully
The part of you that recognizes that something is off, that deep down wants something different from your life, is what led you here.
We all have that deep, knowing, wise inner part of us, even if we can’t access it. I know it’s there because every human being has this innate capacity, regardless of who they are or what they have been through in life.
While you may feel alone and that there is something wrong with you that can’t be changed, none of this is true. I am on this mission to help women because none of us is immune from the impacts of our negative life experiences and what we have been taught and conditioned to believe about ourselves as a result of messages from the outside world.
I firmly believe in every person’s ability to change even the most ingrained behaviors and thought patterns. No, you did not create all of these inner struggles and demons, and yes, society and its treatment of women is a major culprit. However, it is still your responsibility to confront and heal these patterns. This inner healing not only benefits you and enhances your ability to respond to life pain with less suffering and more skillfulness, confidence, and empowerment, but also influences those around you. Our individual and collective healing is inextricably intertwined: when we heal ourselves, we are more capable of fostering healing in others.
NO ONE ELSE CAN CULTIVATE RESILIENCE FOR YOU
Rediscover Who You Truly Are
align & transform
Listening to and trusting our inner voice is the first step toward creating meaningful life change and you’ve taken that step already by getting to this page and reading it. Strengthening that voice and your connection to your inherent wisdom and power is part, but not all, of the work we can do together. And even if you don’t do this work with me in this program, I hope you will make a commitment to yourself to do it in another way. YOU need YOU to be the truest and fullest version of yourself, and the world does, too. It’s an act of self-love, self-liberation, and self-validation that not only serves the world around you but also inspires other women and gives them permission to do the same.
Rediscover
Who You Truly Are
Ditch the daily life hindered by guilt & judgment
Unlearn what you’ve been socialized to think & feel
Feel joyous and hopeful for your next chapter
Too Good to Be True?
Maybe you’re thinking that this all sounds good in theory, but you’re not there yet, and there are a few problems keeping you stuck that you’re not sure how to solve.
You're Playing it Safe
One reason you may be here is that you’ve been playing it safe for a long time. You’re scared about rocking the boat or making a change. You wonder, “What if people stop liking me? What if I lose my job? What if they realize I’m actually not that smart, that it’s luck that got me to this place in life? Who am I if I no longer ____?” All the “what ifs” convince you to stick with the status quo.
problem 1
Why is this a problem?
Sticking with the status quo from a place of FEAR is different than sticking with it from a grounded, intentional, intuitive place. But you can’t discern which choice is right for you if you aren’t able to connect to and trust your inner wisdom in the first place. Keeping things the same may bring a sense of comfort because it’s known, but it does come at a cost. The harsh reality is that not everyone in your life may support you changing, so you may be faced with a decision between disappointing other people or disappointing yourself. Ultimately this is a choice, and we all need to decide if not changing out of fear is a choice we’re willing to live with and will feel proud looking back upon at the end of our lives.
SYMPTOM 1: RISK AVERSION
considerations
You're Feeling
the Misalignment
problem 2
Another reason you may be here is that you feel like your self-care, work-life balance, and priorities are completely misaligned. Maybe that misalignment runs even deeper and you’re feeling confused about relationships you’re in and unclear about your passions and mission in life, so much so that even small decisions can feel challenging and you’re feeling burned out and depleted. So, in an attempt to reprioritize and find balance, you enhance your self-care regimen: you read more novels, take more vacations and longer lunch breaks, spend more time with your kids, invest in a gym membership and treat yourself to a monthly massage.
Why is this a problem?
While enhancing self-care is an important aspect of empowered and resilient living, self-care can also bypass our emotions and be a short-term pick-me-up that doesn’t lead to lasting change. If we’re not clear about who or what to dedicate our limited energy and emotional resources toward, self-care efforts can be in vain. This approach can also reinforce the idea that the solution is simple, and that it’s purely an issue of time management, rather than an opportunity for deeper reflection and potential overhaul. When you build a house, you start with the foundation first, and the same is true here. Our purpose and values are our foundation, our compass, our roadmap, our WHY. With this foundation in place, we have more stability even in the hardest and darkest of times, and we more easily know when we are veering from our path and how to get back.
SYMPTOM 2: fixing misalignment with self-care
CONSIDERATIONS
problem 3
You've Already Tried Everything
Another reason you may be here is that you have already tried to make changes, either on your own or with the help of someone else, with mixed results or limited success. You’re feeling skeptical and hopeless about your ability to make meaningful changes in your life. You’re worried that nothing will work, nothing can or will change, and you “just need to accept” that this is your life and who you are.
Why is this a problem?
First off, it makes total sense to feel demoralized after investing time, money, and energy in strategies that didn’t lead to results. No one wants to take risks and put in hard work without seeing change. But the outcomes of these prior attempts don’t mean anything about you or your ability to change. Maybe the method wasn’t the right fit for your needs. Maybe you didn’t have the right supports in place. Maybe it wasn’t the right time. But regardless of the reason, buying into hopeless thoughts that nothing will work by not taking steps toward change is practicing hopelessness. The hopelessness then becomes more hardwired on a neurophysiological level – those connections literally grow and get strengthened in the brain. To feel more hopeful, we need to practice ways of believing in ourselves by engaging in actions that generate or expand our hope for change. Sometimes the behavior precedes the thought ~ you practice hope by taking steps toward change even with skepticism, and eventually your belief that change is possible does follow.
SYMPTOM 3: hopelessness
CONSIDERATIONS
problem 4
You Think You're Just Not Good Enough
In this stuck and vulnerable place, you are thinking that if you can just be a better mom, sexual partner, and boss, and work harder at eating more healthily, losing weight, earning another certification, having better boundaries, and/or _____ (fill in the blank), you’ll feel better.
Why is this a problem?
When we judge ourselves, or have a low estimation of our worth, we often oversimplify the solutions to our problems. It's important to recognize that the challenges you're facing are complex and don't have quick fixes. They are also shared by many women, in large part because of society, not because of something inherently wrong with you. Another problem with the "not good enough" mentality is that thinking that we "just" need to do or be ____ often leads us to become so focused on the outcome, that we don’t develop the deeper skillset and life practices that are required of true transformation. If one thing is certain in life, it is that stress in some fashion will continue to exist. We need to be able to continually respond to what life throws at us skillfully and effectively (e.g., RESILIENCE) and in accordance with our values (e.g., ALIGNMENT) in order to be able to make decisions confidently and live life with a sense of unapologetic fulfillment and purpose (e.g., EMPOWERMENT). This way of living requires learning to creatively and flexibility implement holistic tools and strategies that actually produce results AND work in your life (e.g., are personalized to your unique needs and life circumstances).
SYMPTOM 4: self-judgment
CONSIDERATIONS
Check out these common pitfalls
Over the years I became so distressed by seeing women struggle with these problems that I decided to create my signature 1:1 program
The Science and Soul
of Resilient Living
The Science and Soul of Resilient Living
Skillfully integrates evidence-based tools from psychological science and complementary and alternative medicine
Helps women move away from feeling overwhelmed and controlled by fear, doubt, loss, and self-criticism
Teaches women how to fully live life with meaning, purpose, and in accordance with their deeper values
This Program Does
Focus on the Here-and-now
Support You in Transforming Insights Into Action Steps
foster Compassion for & Acceptance of Where You Are & What Led You Here
Acknowledges Your Strengths & Areas for Growth
Offers Concrete, Practical, Science-backed Tools Customizable for All Life Domains
This Program Does Not
Focus on keeping you in your comfort zone
Shy away from joining you in acknowledging painful truths
Offer quick solutions that don’t require practice, time, and effort
Promote a cookie-cutter or one-size fits all approach
Ignore the realities of your life and barriers to change
A Program That Creates Optimal Conditions
For Healing and Internal Growth
I know from experience that individual coaching sessions are an integral part of transformation but are not sufficient for long-term change. Coaching support outside of 1:1 sessions can deepen our skillsets and help us generalize them across all life domains. For this reason I created a system that includes a hybrid of approaches and learning modalities.
1 on 1
Coaching Sessions
Coaching Via Text/Voice Notes
Assignments & Educational Material
Both the practice assignments and coaching outside of 1:1 sessions are intended to enhance your internalization and implementation of these tools and support you by troubleshooting barriers and answering questions in real-time.
A Program That Creates Optimal Conditions For Healing and Internal Growth
What You Can Expect
After working through this program, clients:
Live their lives with increased meaning, purpose and alignment with their personal values
Have increased clarity about the guideposts of their lives, their priorities, and what matters most
Are less prone to seek affirmation outside of themselves, and more capable of cultivating an inner sense of self-trust, validation, confidence, and power
Are aware of the conditioning and societal messaging that has contributed to harmful thought patterns, behaviors, and relationship dynamics, and feel more equipped to tackle and change these aspects of their lives
Are less plagued by fear, doubt, self-criticism, and loss
Have renewed confidence in themselves and the holistic tools and strategies learned in this program, and feel capable of sustaining continuous growth after the program ends.
apply to Join the Program
It is something we practice in an ongoing way and a process of refinement over time.
The goal of this program is to equip you with lifelong tools that can be cultivated and personalized over time, so that you can continue to access them and find your way back to meaning, purpose, and fulfillment, even in the midst of future life stressors and challenges.
Skillfully living life with empowerment & resilience is a journey, not a destination.
You feel clear and unapologetic about your passions, mission, and purpose, and consistently engage in meaningful activities that help you feel fulfilled, inspired, and excited to wake-up and live each day
01
You feel well-connected to multiple circles of support in which you can truly be yourself without putting on a mask or pretending to be someone you are not
02
You feel there is complete cohesion, balance, and synergy in all domains of your life
03
You are able to make decisions from a place of calm, thoughtfulness, and truth, without being dominated and driven by fear, self-doubt, and your inner critic
04
You are living your life with full presence of mind, body, heart and spirit in a way that is reflective of your innermost desires, values, needs, and dreams
05
You feel liberated from negative messages and conditioning about who you are and who you should be or do
06
So nice to meet you!
I'm Melissa Foynes, Ph.D
I am on a mission to coach, empower and partner with women around the world to transform their stress, fears, and self-doubt in order to realign with their truest inner selves ~ with science, with soul and with heart. I have blended science-backed knowledge from psychology with wisdom from holistic and integrative healing to offer curated strategies that have dramatically changed my life and resulted in transformative experience for the women with whom I have worked. I believe in the merits of all of these tools and their powerfully synergistic effect when used together.
I'm a clinical psychologist, trauma-informed mindfulness, meditation and yoga instructor, and Ayurvedic doula
Save Your Seat!
The Science and Soul of Resilient Living
is a holistic, personalized, 3-month coaching program that skillfully integrates evidence-based tools from psychological science with complementary and alternative medicine in a way that is catered to meet your unique needs. The program includes:
Initial Pre-coaching Inventory & Feedback
Biweekly
1:1 Coaching Sessions
Additional Support via Text/Voice Notes
Lifetime Access to Supplemental Materials
Investment: $3500 if paid in full (payment plans available)
Connection to intuition
01
Clarification of values, desires, mission, & purpose
02
Personalized mindfulness and meditation practices
03
Ayurveda: daily & seasonal routines, nutrition support designed to balance your unique mental and physical constitution
04
Yoga practices for depression and anxiety
05
Breathing practices for regulating the nervous system
06
Empowered and effective communication
07
Changing problematic relationship patterns, self-limiting beliefs, and behaviors
08
Coping with anticipated triggers, stressors, and vulnerabilities
09
Responding to intense emotions
10
Cultivating self-compassion, self-validation, and non-judgment
11
Enhancing sexual health and well-being
12
Mindful parenting
13
Recognizing and breaking free from sociocultural conditioning and messages
14
Ask Yourself This
Is this the life you will look back upon with admiration, celebration, and contentment?
Are these the patterns and behaviors you want to model for our younger generations?
Is this the legacy you want to leave behind?
Is this the life you are living because you WANT to and are EXCITED to be living it?
If You Answered “NO” to Any of the Above,
There Is a Different Way to Live, and Work to Be Done.
Even though we haven’t yet met, I know you are more capable of empowerment and resilience than you realize. I know you are limitless and destined for more greatness. I know this because with the right tools and support, we ALL have this capacity for healing and growth, and you are no exception. And I want you to get to a place where you can truly believe in your power and potential, too.
There will never be a perfect time to begin this work or invest in yourself more deeply. So if not now…when? And if not this program, how else?
Ready to take the leap?
If working with me 1:1 speaks to you, practice believing in yourself and your ability to change. Invest in yourself and the life you want to be living by taking your next step today. Each second that passes is a deferred opportunity for transformation. It also further reinforces the negative messages you’ve been taught to believe about yourself and fosters stuckness and resignation. Let’s rail against that conditioning together, starting right here, right now. If this resonates, trust your desire for something different and apply today.
apply to join the program
Working with Melissa literally changed my life!! She guided me through major shifts in my approach to life and myself. With her support my relationships have improved through boundary setting and emotion regulation, I’ve found purpose and made difficult decisions by trusting my intuition, and I have more joy in my life through less black and white thinking and honouring my values. All this change was possible because Melissa created a nonjudgmental space in which I could be candid about everything. I always felt heard, respected, and valued. Our sessions were action oriented, which meant that I could directly apply our conversations to whatever issue I was currently pondering/struggling with. Melissa has been a light in my life and I am excited for her to be one in the lives of many others!
-Ellen C.
I was in a very dark place, hated myself, not recognizing my past trauma was turning me into a dark, angry, self-loathing individual. Melissa helped me discover who I truly was by having me work on a variety of tools and practices with her and assignments on my own to face challenges that I buried for so long. It took a lot of hard, tiresome work and I wondered how the heck this could ever help. For some reason, I trusted her and kept doing it- I was unbearable to be around. Then, one day I was driving in my car belting the words to one of my favorite lady-jams and realized the dark cloud that loomed over me for so long wasn’t there anymore. I felt liberated and light on my feet again. I was laughing and care-free again, something I had not felt in so long. I could laugh until my stomach hurt, I had aspirations I forgot existed, and I was able to live the life I knew I wanted to live. I am grateful for the skills she taught me and have continued using them years later.
- BGS
I am a BIPOC woman who has struggled for years with setting boundaries, insecurities and self-care. Melissa centered on me and my needs - and never allowed me to feel as if I let her down if I was unable to complete something we agreed I would do. Her flexibility and focus on grief and trauma greatly helped me as did the meditative practices that we worked into my treatment. Working with Melissa has helped me with my insecurities, the effects of gaslighting, and my sometimes over empathetic approach to people in my life. She understands the challenges of being a woman (and woman of color) in our society that has so many expectations. I am still learning to release those expectations and lead with self-compassion (always a work in progress), but I can say I wouldn’t be where I am without Melissa. The care and love she has shown me have led to me certainly feeling more joy in my life because I have gained a deeper understanding of my own personal motivations as well as how to actually listen to my gut (which is so much harder than I have imagined). I am so thankful for her.
- Gretchen B.
Dr Melissa Foynes is an amazing woman. She’s gentle, kind, sympathetic, knowledgeable, and very smart. When I sought out someone to help me cope with the overwhelming pressure and anxiety I was feeling due to my life’s circumstances, I didn’t know where to turn. As a nurse in a busy hospital, high stress is a baseline when you walk in the door. Her strategies and podcasts have helped bring the stress level back to where it should be, rather than living in a super high state, only to go up when any little or big thing occurs. Our family saw some of these strategies come home to us via school recommendations for kids in a stressful pandemic state. When I mentioned these same strategies helped me, my kids were very interested and starting practicing the breathing exercises. This has helped them daily. I would highly recommend Dr Foynes to anyone seeking to bring calm and peace to their lives. Her demeanor and expertise are comforting and empowering.
-Julie D.
Working with Melissa was an opportunity I wish everyone could have! Melissa was such a gift to me during the difficult season of postpartum. She taught me a wide array of practical coping skills (particularly for my tendency toward anxiety) that I continue to use daily, even two years later. At first I was worried that the Ayurveda aspect would conflict with some of my beliefs, but she did an amazing job at personalizing it all so I never felt conflicted. Melissa's calm, kind personality made me feel loved and lifted much of my load during that time. She made me feel empowered and confident in who I was and I can never thank her enough for all she did!
-Stephanie
Working with Dr. Foynes has been such a blessing for me. I have been to therapy for many years and lately was feeling like something was missing, like I needed something more than traditional therapy. Working with Dr. Foynes gave me exactly what I needed. She gave me tools and direction taking into consideration my needs and unique situation. She provided so much wisdom to help me "glue together" pieces that I knew were within me but needed that push to be pieced together. I absolutely loved the combination of psychology and ancient methods like yoga, meditation and breathing techniques that she shared during our time together. Those opened my mind to try new methods that I still use on a daily basis, in other words she effected a positive change in my life. The communication process with her was such a delight, as I did not have to wait for our next session together to ask questions or get some direction when I felt like I was needing some guidance to complete the next tasks. She is very patient, graceful and compassionate and her voice and wisdom are on point. Her preparation and expertise truly show!
-Milmar R.
FAQ
+ What if I’m not feeling ready for feedback and/or a direct, action-oriented approach?
+ What if I don’t have the time?
+ What if I really can’t change?
+ What if I connect to your mission, but this investment feels too out of reach?
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
+ Why is there an application process?
I hear you. It takes bravery and resilience to hear things about ourselves we’d rather not hear, to be affirmed in things we already know but may not want to admit. It’s like a mirror being held up to your face when you’ve had a rough night’s sleep – we may be tempted to cringe or look away. But just because you feel it doesn’t make it true; having the ability and willingness to try can overpower beliefs about your readiness, and nothing can be changed until it is faced. In this program, feedback is always given in a compassionate, non-judgmental way, from one fellow human being to another. Even though a more direct and action-oriented approach can feel foreign and scary, it can also feel like a welcome breath of fresh air once you see it result in concrete changes and enhance your motivation to stick with the process.
+ What if I’m not feeling ready for feedback and/or a direct, action-oriented approach?
Many of us feel completely overwhelmed and thinly stretched. And there are likely times in your life that full participation in this program is not feasible given your circumstances. If you’re feeling like there isn’t time, I encourage you to ask yourself honestly - do I truly *not* have the time, OR am I not willing to make this a priority and create space for it? There are 24 hours in everyone’s day, and we all make daily choices about how we are going to spend our time. So when we say “I don’t have the time,” a more empowered phrase like “I’m choosing not to spend my time in this way” can help us truly embrace and inhabit our choice.
+ What if I don’t have the time?
I just don’t believe it. Neither does science or ancient wisdom. You are deeply capable of change on an emotional, physical, interpersonal, spiritual, and sexual level. The reality is that we are always practicing something - so we might as well practice the tools and patterns that have the capacity to foster resilience and empowerment, rather than the ones that will keep us stuck and miserable. And according to neuroscience research, when we practice these healing tools, we are literally changing our brains on a neurophysiological level - strengthening what serves us and pruning out what doesn’t.
+ What if I really can’t change?
There are many forms of investing in yourself, and many pathways toward growth and change, at all pay scales...and this is just one option for working with me directly. For free resources, you can listen to my podcast “The Science and Soul of Living Well” Podcast or follow me on Instagram. You can also consider payment plan options, saving up the money for participating at a later date, or joining our email list to be the first to know about future offerings at different price points. That being said, there is a difference between literally not being able to afford a program (in which seeking alternatives and/or problem-solving the financial aspect are options), and not feeling like you are worth the investment. Only you know where you fall on this spectrum. Research shows that the less money you pay for something, the less you invest...so there is often a direct relationship between the level of investment you make and the amount of effort you put into your transformation. And ultimately, it’s hard to put a price tag on true transformation.
+ What if I connect to your mission, but this investment feels too out of reach?
Great question. Even though I am a licensed psychologist, I am also a coach, and this is a coaching program, not a therapy program. While there are some similarities between coaching and psychotherapy, they are very different activities. For example, while both coaching and therapy utilize knowledge of human behavior, motivation and behavioral change, and interactive counseling techniques, they differ in their goals, focus, and nature of the professional relationship.
The focus of coaching is development and implementation of strategies to reach client-identified goals, for instance enhanced performance and personal satisfaction. Coaching utilizes personal strategic planning, values clarification, brainstorming, motivational enhancement, and other counseling techniques. Therapy, on the other hand, focuses primarily on the identification, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health difficulties. The goals of therapy include alleviating symptoms, understanding the underlying dynamics that create symptoms, changing problematic behaviors arising from these symptoms, and developing new coping strategies.
The coaching relationship is specifically designed to avoid the power differentials that occur in the therapy relationship. The client largely sets the agenda and course of coaching and the success of the coaching depends on the client’s willingness to take risks and try new approaches. The relationship is designed to be more direct and challenging. It is an honest and straightforward approach, involving the coach asking powerful questions and using challenging techniques to move you forward.
To avoid role confusion, and because these approaches are different, I do not serve as both a therapist and coach for clients. At times, I may suggest that therapy is a better fit than coaching or that it would be beneficial for you to engage with a therapist in addition to our coaching work. These recommendations are always in service of ensuring you have the tools and supports most aligned to fit your needs.
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
When spots in this program are available, they are offered on a case-by-case basis depending on level of fit. I want this program to be deeply transformative, and if I feel like this offering is not as aligned with your needs as it could be, I want you to be able to devote your time and energy to something that is. My ultimate goal is for you to be able to have the right tools and support in place to work towards the changes that you deserve and need, even if that ultimately means a path other than this program.
+ Why is there an application process?
FAQ
+ What if I’m not feeling ready for feedback and/or a direct, action-oriented approach?
+ What if I don’t have the time?
+ What if I really can’t change?
+ What if I connect to your mission, but this investment feels too out of reach?
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
+ Why is there an application process?
+ What if I’m not feeling ready for feedback and/or a direct, action-oriented approach?
+ What if I don’t have the time?
+ What if I really can’t change?
+ What if I connect to your mission, but this investment feels too out of reach?
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
+ Why is there an application process?
I hear you. It takes bravery and resilience to hear things about ourselves we’d rather not hear, to be affirmed in things we already know but may not want to admit. It’s like a mirror being held up to your face when you’ve had a rough night’s sleep – we may be tempted to cringe or look away. But just because you feel it doesn’t make it true; having the ability and willingness to try can overpower beliefs about your readiness, and nothing can be changed until it is faced. In this program, feedback is always given in a compassionate, non-judgmental way, from one fellow human being to another. Even though a more direct and action-oriented approach can feel foreign and scary, it can also feel like a welcome breath of fresh air once you see it result in concrete changes and enhance your motivation to stick with the process.
+ What if I’m not feeling ready for feedback and/or a direct, action-oriented approach?
+ What if I’m not feeling ready for feedback and/or a direct, action-oriented approach?
+ What if I don’t have the time?
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
+ Why is there an application process?
+ What if I really can’t change?
+ What if I connect to your mission, but this investment feels too out of reach?
+ What if I don’t have the time?
Many of us feel completely overwhelmed and thinly stretched. And there are likely times in your life that full participation in this program is not feasible given your circumstances. If you’re feeling like there isn’t time, I encourage you to ask yourself honestly - do I truly *not* have the time, OR am I not willing to make this a priority and create space for it? There are 24 hours in everyone’s day, and we all make daily choices about how we are going to spend our time. So when we say “I don’t have the time,” a more empowered phrase like “I’m choosing not to spend my time in this way” can help us truly embrace and inhabit our choice.
+ What if I really can’t change?
+ What if I’m not feeling ready for feedback and/or a direct, action-oriented approach?
+ What if I don’t have the time?
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
+ Why is there an application process?
I just don’t believe it. Neither does science or ancient wisdom. You are deeply capable of change on an emotional, physical, interpersonal, spiritual, and sexual level. The reality is that we are always practicing something - so we might as well practice the tools and patterns that have the capacity to foster resilience and empowerment, rather than the ones that will keep us stuck and miserable. And according to neuroscience research, when we practice these healing tools, we are literally changing our brains on a neurophysiological level - strengthening what serves us and pruning out what doesn’t.
+ What if I connect to your mission, but this investment feels too out of reach?
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
+ Why is there an application process?
There are many forms of investing in yourself, and many pathways toward growth and change, at all pay scales...and this is just one option for working with me directly. For free resources, you can listen to my podcast “The Science and Soul of Living Well” Podcast or follow me on Instagram. You can also consider payment plan options, saving up the money for participating at a later date, or joining our email list to be the first to know about future offerings at different price points. That being said, there is a difference between literally not being able to afford a program (in which seeking alternatives and/or problem-solving the financial aspect are options), and not feeling like you are worth the investment. Only you know where you fall on this spectrum. Research shows that the less money you pay for something, the less you invest...so there is often a direct relationship between the level of investment you make and the amount of effort you put into your transformation. And ultimately, it’s hard to put a price tag on true transformation.
+ What if I connect to your mission, but this investment feels too out of reach?
+ Why is there an application process?
Great question. Even though I am a licensed psychologist, I am also a coach, and this is a coaching program, not a therapy program. While there are some similarities between coaching and psychotherapy, they are very different activities. For example, while both coaching and therapy utilize knowledge of human behavior, motivation and behavioral change, and interactive counseling techniques, they differ in their goals, focus, and nature of the professional relationship.
The focus of coaching is development and implementation of strategies to reach client-identified goals, for instance enhanced performance and personal satisfaction. Coaching utilizes personal strategic planning, values clarification, brainstorming, motivational enhancement, and other counseling techniques. Therapy, on the other hand, focuses primarily on the identification, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health difficulties. The goals of therapy include alleviating symptoms, understanding the underlying dynamics that create symptoms, changing problematic behaviors arising from these symptoms, and developing new coping strategies.
The coaching relationship is specifically designed to avoid the power differentials that occur in the therapy relationship. The client largely sets the agenda and course of coaching and the success of the coaching depends on the client’s willingness to take risks and try new approaches. The relationship is designed to be more direct and challenging. It is an honest and straightforward approach, involving the coach asking powerful questions and using challenging techniques to move you forward.
To avoid role confusion, and because these approaches are different, I do not serve as both a therapist and coach for clients. At times, I may suggest that therapy is a better fit than coaching or that it would be beneficial for you to engage with a therapist in addition to our coaching work. These recommendations are always in service of ensuring you have the tools and supports most aligned to fit your needs.
+ How is working with you as a coach different from seeing you as a therapist?
When spots in this program are available, they are offered on a case-by-case basis depending on level of fit. I want this program to be deeply transformative, and if I feel like this offering is not as aligned with your needs as it could be, I want you to be able to devote your time and energy to something that is. My ultimate goal is for you to be able to have the right tools and support in place to work towards the changes that you deserve and need, even if that ultimately means a path other than this program.
