Episode 28 – Understanding perfectionism: Root causes, myths & facts

In this first episode of a 3-part series on perfectionism, I define perfectionism and outline three key dimensions.

These three key dimensions are:

1) 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮, which involves requiring perfection of yourself,

2) 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳-𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮 which involves requiring perfection of other people, and

3) 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮, which involves believing that other people require perfection of you.

I also help you examine the ways in which perfectionism may show up in varying degrees in different life domains of your life (e.g., appearance, physical fitness, profession, hobbies/vocation, parenting/mentorship, relationships, sexual life, physical environment, vulnerability, relationship to time and space, relationship to success, self-worth/beliefs).

I describe some of the root causes of perfectionism to help you consider how perfectionism might have been developed in your own life, all through a lens of compassion since perfectionistic tendencies often develop in an attempt to cope with anxiety and in response to prior life experiences and conditioning.

I also dispel common myths about perfectionism by sharing what the research says about the pros and cons of different dimensions of perfectionism. Throughout, I emphasize the importance of really gaining insight into your perfectionistic tendencies and patterns and the ways in which they both do and don’t serve you so you can have more clarity with which to decide what, if anything, you want to change in your life and can therefore live from a more intentional place.

Stay tuned for the next two episodes in this 3-part series, as well as a forthcoming free workbook to accompany you as you continue to understand and address perfectionistic tendencies.

Additional Resources & Information

For more strategies that can support you in managing perfectionistic tendencies, check out my free 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

If you’re interested in personalized support in understanding and breaking through patterns of perfectionism, check out my 1:1 Coaching Program: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

Follow @drfoynes on Instagram for more tips on gaining insight into and addressing perfectionistic tendencies.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, & is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

YOU CAN ALSO LEARN MORE ABOUT MY COACHING PRACTICE THROUGH THIS FREE VIDEO SERIES:

The Science & Soul of Building Resilience

In this 4-part series you’ll learn:

• Body awareness to help us center ourselves and live in a present-focused and embodied way even in the midst of stress
• Decreasing our stress response so we can access intuition and connect to our needs
• Values clarification to guide decisions about prioritizing our time, attention and energy
• Self-compassion to soften our harsh inner critics and facilitate growth following mistakes

SIGN UP to Get Instant Access!

MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE SCIENCE & SOUL OF LIVING WELL PODCAST!

Apple | Google | Spotify | iHeart | Audible

You can also contact me or join us on Instagram – @drfoynes.